2 weeks till the marathon and I’m as ready as i’ll ever be. All there is to do is to eat well and hope that I’ve run enough these past 12 months.
Currently on my desk, three separate video projects (films?) await more editing. Each project lies in the assemblage state - the process of narrowing down the raw-footage into some kind of coherent collage of moments that hopefully convey a sense of what I set out to say. I remain unsure about how much divorcing is needed from the moment for me to be most effective as an editor. If i'm too close to the moment, I end up making something incoherent to someone who was not there at whatever Event it is that is being condensed , but if i'm too far from the moment - I become unable to tap back into what it felt like to experience said Event. And, most painfully, I struggle, as most editors do (I think) with letting go of those perfect moments that simply have no place in the project. I wonder sometimes, if there is a film out there, to be made later down the line , that consists entirely of these abandoned moments. What's refreshing to me, however, is the feeling of a documentary finding its structure in the editing process. There is little out there that engages me more than a film's form being revealed through editing. Disparate moments meet each other, and you think to yourself : I could not imagine this playing any other way.
As always, I feel radically unqualified for the run and feel as if I could have run a lot more than I did. That being said, I’ve been running 9 miles daily at an 8:30 pace and the miles have been coming easy. Suspiciously easy. We’ll see if those suspicions are warranted come December 10. The days have grown shorter, but the air is strangely warm for November. I’ve enjoyed running deeper into nightfall - and I've enjoyed watching the birds fly in formation across the lake, shadows mirrored against the water in the blue hour.
Lately I’ve been thinking about how angry I was when I ran last year’s race. It was within a month of the election and I was very sour ; I could not help but think that many of the people surrounding me, at the BMW Dallas Marathon, were Trump supporters, and I could not help but think about how - the act of voting for Trump was a direct vote towards hurting others - and I could not let my anger go - this anger followed me throughout the race ; which resulted in my best time in these past 5 years. 3:52. This year i’m not sure how I’ll beat this year but damn won’t I try.